Sinful Chronicles: Your Daily Dose of Cin

Hello, year.

2009-05-29T11:27:00.002-04:00

Another year, another celebration.

On each birthday, I always look at the past year in retrospect. For example: What did I do? Which friends did I spend time with the most? Who did I date? But most importantly, what events occurred that shaped me into the person I am today?

Today feels different. 24 feels a lot different. I've come a long way and each day is a stepping stone towards something bigger that I feel is out there waiting for me to find.

My only wish is that this year will exceed the last. That the lessons I've learned and will learn continue to fill my heart with love and laughter.

Today I'm celebrating Peace. Love. Faith. &Cin.

~ Cin-fully yours

Too good to be true?

2009-05-05T00:05:00.003-04:00

It's the yin and yang of life. You can't always have your cake and eat it too....right?

Saw Obsessed and Wolverine this past weekend. Reviews? Well, Obsessed was slow...The best part was Beyonce and Ali Larter's fight scene at the end. Wolverine was alright...I guess I expected too much.

Overall, this weekend was an awesome one....despite some bumps in the road. But that's probably my over-analyzing...Because, yes, I do tend to do that...

Hey...You...Yeah, you....RAWR :D

~ Cin-fully yours

I hate....

2009-04-29T08:28:00.001-04:00

....trying to figure people out.

I'm just not that observant.

That.....

.........and I wear my <3 on my sleeve.

*sigh*

~ Cin-fully yours

I see myself....

2009-04-27T11:54:00.001-04:00

in a scion tC. no ifs, ands, or buts about it.

wish me luck folks!

~ Cin-fully yours

Is quitting while you're ahead an option?

2009-04-25T20:49:00.002-04:00

Should I stay or should I go now?

If I go it will be trouble.

And if I stay it will be double.

So darling please let me know because this indecision is bugging me.

~ Cin-fully yours

Cheese and rice!!

2009-04-17T04:31:00.001-04:00

It never came about.
There we have no free will.
At the one place of experience
Where we are most at mercy, and where
The decision will alter us to the end of our days,
Our destination is fixed;
We are elected into love.
- Christopher Fry

Story of My Life.

2009-04-04T23:45:00.001-04:00

How many mallows?

2009-03-30T00:25:00.003-04:00

*UPDATE* 5:03am (yeah, i know...insomnia)

excuse the choppiness....i tend to ramble with ums, ands, anyways, etc so i had to cut/edit stuff.....so yeah, it's choppy. basically it's song, picture show, and more rambling.......

~Cin-fully yours

Hubba, hubba KevJumba.

2009-03-28T00:09:00.004-04:00

You are funny.

And sexy.

Both potentiates the other.

My parents used to be like this. Kev, it gets better. Just graduate. haha...I have my dad's approval that I can have multi-racial babies. I told him I was gonna give him the cutest baby with a head full of 'fro. As for mi madre, I don't think she wants to think about me having babies if you know what I is sayinnn'........Weird.

So as I recover from my endless hangover (it's frackin' midnight now--wtEFF) I'm online window shopping, joining my sis and her friend in a Harry Potter marathon, and surfing the world wide web. So I've come to this conclusion....YouTube is friggin insane. And you know what's even more insane? All the YouTube sensations (i.e. music artists, comedians, vlogs). So yes, being the avid mainstream pop culture follower that I am I am sucked into this life via web. I find myself finding (find myself finding?) people on YT...then stumbling upon their blogs and RSSing them....then fell upon their FB pages.....and now....dum...dummm..DUMMM-->Twitter! The hours I've spent doing this is innumerable. Oh yeah, I signed up with Twitter. To think, one MORE thing for me to get addicted to. I mean, FB was enough. So much so I had to give myself a break from it. But Twitter....Yes, Twitter....It's status updates without all the FB. I like. Until I get a stalker. Because we all know how much my awesomeness is conducive to some stalking. Right.

Back to Twitter. Add me: Twitter.com/MissCinLu

~ Cin-fully yours

Almost.

2009-03-25T18:15:00.000-04:00

Life. Or something like it.

2009-03-23T02:12:00.004-04:00

Why do I all of a sudden feel enlightened?

I mean...It's so simple of an advice. So elementary to comprehend. Yet we find excuses to think otherwise.

Some folks are just. NOT. that. into. you. Seriously.

It's so easy to un-complicate one's life and de-clutter (trim the fat, if you will) if you just realize the simple proverb: he (or she) is just not that into you.

Yes, you've probably already guessed by now that I've just seen the feature film. Kiss my butt. I'm impressionable and easily influenced. So what?

Point is...If I had just stopped at:

1. he's not ready right now. but he will be.

2. he's got a lot on his plate with school, etc.

3. he's totally focused on work right now.

4. he might be an asshole but he loves me.

5. he is satisfied with whatever we have now and nothing more. but he will be.

6. etc...

7. etc.......

8. etc.........

Seriously. I should just slap myself in the face. I let these men (boys, whatever) get to me. It's my fault to let myself be fooled by my own lies.

Lesson learned?

If someone really wants to be with you. They will chose any vehicle to find a way of getting to you. If not....Then, really.....Why bother?

My time....money....emotions....are better kept to give to someone who is worth it. They are better off than being wasted on some transient, juvenile games.

So screw you and the high horse you rode on. You, in general. You know who (each of) you are. Damn assholes.

I'd rather be alone and hopeful. Because, in the end, aren't we alone anyway for fooling ourselves with lies?

~ Cin-fully yours

Thinking out loud.

2009-03-22T00:14:00.004-04:00

Relocation.
Furthering education.
Prioritizing the steps of life.
Healthy choices.
Prioritizing relationships.
Seeking hobbies.
Taking 2 steps back.
Detoxing.
Reevaluating.
Relaxing.

~ Cin-fully yours

Dear Normalcy,

2009-03-19T17:40:00.003-04:00

Please come back.

That is all.

Thanks.

- Cin

Gorgeous.

2009-03-17T11:29:00.001-04:00

Broken. Done. Gone.

2009-03-17T09:23:00.005-04:00

Failed words..

bullshit.

Don't say something and take it back.

Not going to let it hit. . . . .It's hitting hard.

afraid.

Losing a best friend.

Fallen in too deep.

Irreparable?

Not going to be the same.

Not when I thought this was it.

"It's not awkward unless you make it awkward."

This is an awkward person.

too open. too available. too insecure.

How else can you live life without passion?

'I'm not telling you I can't live without you. I can. I just don't want to.'

We may be retards. But that's cause we're special.

2009-03-08T04:05:00.001-04:00

More coming soon :D

~ Cin-fully yours

But I never think before I say....

2009-03-06T14:11:00.001-05:00

New fave.

Jesse Barrera

~ Cin-fully yours

You Were Mine :D

2009-03-05T11:09:00.002-05:00

Ahhhh-I'm a youtube whore....New fave song :-)

Better sound:

Live:

Whatever happened to jam sessions? I miss them!!!!!!! This is SO my shit.

~ Cin-fully yours

After tonight, you don't have to look up at the stars.

2009-03-02T00:20:00.004-05:00

disclaimer: I'm a random person. My freedom of expression is all I have in this world. Don't over analyze.

Stream of consciousness:

1. I'm sorry, unless I say that we are...We aren't.
2. Don't misconstrue. Comprehension is key.
3. A duck is a duck...is a duck. It's a duck!
4. Apparently, I do NOT know my calculus.
5. Yes, I want to do SOMETHING. Let's make a change. Yeah?
6. Donuts lead to donuts. Spare me.
7. Time is money. One of which I have more of. Not the latter.
8. Please cut your long hair. I like 'em bald with the occasional 'fro.
9. Snow is overrated. Warm up for me B,MA!!
10. mmm... European chocolate.
11. I like apples. BIG ones. You mark my words.
12. Brr.
13. Mood music. Music that gets you in the mood. Whatever mood. Sensuous movements.
14. Priceless.
15. I like you for you. But love him for him.

~Cin-fully yours

YouTube helps keep me awake!

2009-02-24T05:32:00.003-05:00

1. This dude is going to be BIG--no lie.... I'm coming up to Boston in a couple weeks and hope*hope*hope* I get see him perform. He's so talented~~writes his own music, does great covers with cameos from all his friends, and he's got such a huge fan base already. He better get on Ellen! hehe..I'm so inspired with people like him. Chasing after dreams and never settling for less :) Watching his youtube channel instantly lifts my spirits.

2. Great hair/makeup advice by a good friend :)

3. Comic relief.

4. My friends are talented...What can I say?

5. More comic relief.

6. He's great.....and the humor is hysterical.

7. He's a bit sexy----his voice makes me swOOn.

8. I love these girls. They are so friggin talented. I dunno what happened to their actual youtube page, but here's a clip. I love this Beyonce song they covered, "Halo".

9. Learning vocab can be hot..?

10. I love their medleys--love, love LOVE!

...................so this is what I do at the crack of dawn while trying to stay awake so I can work the next night.

~ Cin-fully yours

Per Melissa's request :D

2009-02-22T05:04:00.003-05:00

Done.....and DONE.

~ Cin-fully yours

I'm having too much fun....

2009-02-13T18:11:00.005-05:00

....with making vlogs.

haha...STAY TUNED!

~ Cin-fully yours

It's ok to...

2009-02-12T22:48:00.008-05:00

1. love mexican food you eat it everyday of the week.

2. not wash your hand sometimes after using the restroom. i mean, but i didn't touch ANYthing?!

3. have 5 hour long phone chats with your best friend...even if it's a dude.

4. to stay up all night doing nothing. I mean, I can do laundry and catch up on a whole season's worth of TV episodes.

5. check out dating websites just to see who you'd be matched up with.

6. record yourself on video and pretend to have conversations just to see how people see you.

7. eat chips and salsa for dinner. It consists of the veggie group!

8. have a pile for clean clothes and a pile for dirty laundry all within 3 feet of each other. If it doesn't touch--it's ok!

9. not want to put clothes on at home because it takes more energy to take off old clothes and put on new ones just incase you go out.

10. spy on ex-friends & ex-boyfriends through facebook.

11. change your hair color with the seasons.

12. pretend the kid you're babysitting for is your kid. It satisfies the motherly want that most girls have inside. Temporarily.

13. to want to get in a full on, raw, hostile fight. There's an animal within all of us.

14. check out high schoolers. They're just maturing so fast! Just stop while you're ahead.

15. make lists because it's fun. Just keep your plans, goals, and ambitions in check.

Check out my first video post!!

Excuse any obscene remarks...We're just being real :)

Click here! For some reason, it won't upload via blogspot.

Yours truly <3

~ Cin-fully yours

25 things.

2009-01-29T23:43:00.003-05:00

so I'm doing this here b/c i'm slightly cooler than most....haha......

no, i'm serious.

i want to live in a different place every 6 months. from spain and italy to alaska and idaho...well, maybe not the latter.
i'm a rollercoaster. i yo-yo.
i pretend to be the girl that always jet-sets and doesn't stay put...
but really, i wanna settle down with someone who will do the above with me.
if i shit money i'd be a bazooka-naire.
some say i'm stuck up. i say i know what i like.
some say i'm too honest. i just say what i feel.
nice guys finish last. or nice guys turn into asses.
my little sister is bigger than me and she teaches me a lot of important lessons.
she doesn't know it.
i'm reformed and am now paying the repercussions.
my family seriously taught me the meaning behind standing up for what you love.
my friends keep my breathing above water.
passion is my nature. although realism seems to overshadow it.
i left heart somewhere cold. come back and make it warm :-)
i love my bed. it feels like heaven. except for my lower back.
ambition is attractive.
personal finance is a personal weakness.
shopping is fun. at the mall, at boutiques, at the grocery, at the gas station..
i <3>
summer of 2006 was one of the best summers ever.
and then there was summer 2008 :-)
if i could be anything i want to be in the world....hmm.....it would have to be a personal assistant. i like organizing.
i make lists.....but i 35% carry them out.
i can't wait to see what, where, who i will be in 5 years. yes......5.

Boring. I'm just not that interesting.

~ Cin-fully yours

Passion is a fire that burns. Preserve it.

2009-01-22T12:38:00.002-05:00

The following is written by someone I stumbled upon. He's great. Really.

The Art of Living Life

There is obviously no surefire way to find your passion. What I will offer up is a method for identifying what your passion is in life. You ready for it? It’sDATING. Essentially, in dating, you try someone out for a while, and assess how that person makes you feel. We court people we find interesting, and courting usually involves some dating. If the chemistry is there, we possibly enter relationships with these people. If we find someone that makes us feel that special way, we take it to the next step and make that person our life partner. Why should it be any different for tasks/jobs we intend to do for the rest of our life?

If you never date anyone, you will probably never find a life partner. If you never try different areas that interest you, you will probably never find your passion. Both are pretty reasonable assertions. People die everyday without ever finding their life partner, just as people die everyday without ever finding their passion. Both instances are sad, and the only way to decrease the likelihood of either happening to you is DATING.

The similarities are surprisingly aligned. There may be someone you find physically attractive, but as you get to know her you realize she doesn’t quite have the qualities you’re looking for in a life partner. Now, imagine that you’re currently in the rat race. You’re hearing about all these young folks cashing out of startups with many millions of dollars. You read about the exotic toys they purchase. Entrepreneurship is looking really sexy to you at this point. You quit your job and decide to start a startup with a couple of your college buddies. As you form your company, you find out that you have to do a lot of unglamorous things (e.g., register your name with the gov’t, get a tax ID, spend many long nights hocked up on caffeine get a WORKING implementation, get customers). You have to fire one of your friends who really isn’t producing. You go to sleep with ulcers just about every night. This isn’t what you expected. The business is done before the year is up. You’re in debt and back on the market looking for a rat race job again. Entrepreneurship definitely wasn’t your passion.

The Passion Taxonomy is as follows:
Dating – reading books, blogs, etc.; taking internships
Relationship – doing it part-time; doing it full-time
Marriage – theoretically, this stage is bliss. Practically, this stage is an emotional rollercoaster that averages out to bliss. You enter this stage after spending some variable period in the Relationship phase. You typically have your moment of clarity of what your passion is in the Dating or Relationship phase. In rare cases, the moment of clarity happens BEFORE the Dating phase.

So the million dollar question is how do you know if this “thing” you’re trying out is your passion?
The best way to explain how you know if you’ve found your passion is to use romantic relationships as an example (thanks to my colleague for this example). Imagine being in a relationship with someone you weren’t having too much chemistry with. Let’s call her partner B. Now imagine being in a relationship with someone you were having a lot of chemistry with. Let’s call her partner A. Doing things for partner B becomes a chore or task (e.g., damn I need to call her before I sleep, damn her b-day is tomorrow; I need to run to the store to pick her up something). With partner A, those very same things are not chores. When you’re doing the same tasks, you almost don’t even notice that you’re even doing them. Yes, you call partner A nightly, get her presents for her b-day just as you did for partner B. However, with partner B these same tasks are SO much more grueling.

This partly explains why people who are great, are great, and others are not. The people that end up becoming great at what they do, don’t mind putting in the work required to be great, because they are passionate about it. What mere mortals would find extremely grueling, the great find it anywhere from tolerable to enjoyable. This difference in perception of work is why it’s critical you do what you love. Everybody always says, “Do what you love,” but they rarely give the rationale behind the statement. If you’re not doing something you’re passionate about, you will probably not become great at it. The person that’s actually passionate about what she is doing will run circles around you – all the time.

If you haven’t found your passion yet, keep dating. If you haven’t found your life partner yet, keep dating. Until you find that life partner and passion,KEEP DATING.

Makes you think, don't it?

~ Cin-fully yours

Melancholy.

2009-01-20T09:47:00.003-05:00

I need to have:

patience.

.........................because all good things are worth waiting for~~

This past weekend was a good one.

~ Cin-fully yours

Geekdom.

2009-01-12T13:36:00.004-05:00

If computers were never made...I dunno what I'd do with myself.

Best things that was ever created related to computers (in no specific order):

~~~and these are just BASICS...

1. torrent

2. the sims

3. mp3s

4. mac

5. webcam

6. hulu.com

7. iphone/ipod

8. expressionary.com

9. yelp.com

10. online shopping

11. facebook

that's all i can think of.

merry MLK jr. day :)

HAPPY BIRTHDAY PAT & MAY!!!!!

My brother from another mother :-)

~ Cin-fully yours

A clean slate? Meh, not so much.

2009-01-06T11:44:00.003-05:00

Happy New Year!!!

Sorry I haven't posted in awhile. You know, I'm going to quit apologizing. I seem to always be apologizing at the start of my posts and that really gets redundant.

Lists...Gotta love 'em.

1. I have a shopping problem. I love clothes. I love groceries. I love anything I can buy. I can't help it. I'm a girl.

2. I love to eat. Especially in the winter. So what if I'm soft and cuddly. Thick girls can be sexy too!

3. New year...new.......I don't know. It's the first NY that I've started off being single. It's kinda of refreshing actually. Very empowering.

4. Good, sweet, considerate guys can eventually become deserting assholes too. Sorry Prince Charming--you need to get off your high horse.

5. I need to sign up to get my citizenship--STAT! So much to do this year--already!

6. I want to go back to school and get my master's...Of course, I need time and experience in the acute setting, but man I can't wait. This time, I'll go out of state. Not too sure what field in nursing and where I'll be going. Stay tuned!

7. HULU.com : an AWESOME site to watch movies/tv shows. I've finished season 1 of Fringe (grrreat X-FILESey type of show. plus, it's set in Boston which I love. AND, i love all the sciecne talk--soo geeky, i love it) and I'm working on season 1 of Lipstick Jungle (satc part2--yes, please!).

8. i want to plan a trip....and soon!

9. my best friend is moving to SanFran REAL soon. /sadface

10. I can't think of anymore. I'm boring.

Happy NY! CHEERS!

~ Cin-fully yours

We are not as resilient as we think.

2008-12-12T02:05:00.003-05:00

...............or maybe we are??

So I suffered the illness that ensues with having a kidney stone and (on top of that) had some major car troubles.

Surprisingly, I'm not as bummed as I thought I'd be. Especially spending the major amount of money I have this past week--shiesta!

Instead, I'm happy. For what? Well, because I know someone, somewhere else needs the sympathy and compassion more than me. Though, I have had A LOT of support this week. I have to take the time to say thanks to my wonderful friends and family. Without them, I wouldn't exist.

So I'm thinking about places to travel nurse to....Here's a list:

(in no specific order)

1. L.A.

2. Seattle

3. San Francisco

4. San Diego

5. Boston

6. NYC

7. Miami

8. Somewhere in Texas?

9. D.C.

10. Colorado

I love them :)

Incredibly......

I can't say it enough. I am so happy!!!!!!! :) :) :) :) :)

~ Cin-fully yours

Resentment is a terrible trait.

2008-11-20T12:11:00.007-05:00

Nice girls (?) finish last? Since when or how did I miss the memo?

So I'm getting nostalgic looking at old pictures...Remembering past memories, situations passed...Etc..etc....

Then I got to thinking about all the good friends and awesome people I've met along this road called life. Most of the great people I've met, I still have by my side. And those who have wasted my time are now long gone.

Then, I start looking at THOSE pictures.

Not to be resentful or anything...Maybe I am....Okay, I am.....

Maybe I'm too self-absorbed. Yes, that's it.

But why is it that people who have done mean, terrible, heart-wrenching things allowed to find joy so quick before having served time and justice for their actions?

I'm awful.

Who am I to judge and decide the time sentence. I can't gauge sincerity when I'm spiteful.

I never thought I'd be the type of person who holds grudges. And as far as I know,

I do pretty well.

I consider myself as one who forgives, but most

definitely to hell will not forget.

Everyone deserves to be happy.

It's unfair to feel stuck in this penitentiary without having committed as many sins as those have against me.

Then again,

that's an ignorant thing to say.

^^^^^^^And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespassed against us....

On a lighter note...It's M.Lo's birthday :) Happy 26th!!!! So my roomie and I decorated his apartment door when he was at work. Haha...It was effin FREEEEEEEEEEZZZZiNG!!!!

~ Cin-fully yours

Love of My Life.

2008-11-12T22:13:00.004-05:00

I received the sweetest gesture the other day. I will try not to overanalyze this.

*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~*~

One beautiful April morning, on a narrow side street in Tokyo's fashionable Harujuku neighborhood, I walked past the 100% perfect girl.

Tell you the truth, she's not that good-looking. She doesn't stand out in any way. Her clothes are nothing special. The back of her hair is still bent out of shape from sleep. She isn't young, either - must be near thirty, not even close to a "girl," properly speaking. But still, I know from fifty yards away: She's the 100% perfect girl for me. The moment I see her, there's a rumbling in my chest, and my mouth is as dry as a desert.

Maybe you have your own particular favorite type of girl - one with slim ankles, say, or big eyes, or graceful fingers, or you're drawn for no good reason to girls who take their time with every meal. I have my own preferences, of course. Sometimes in a restaurant I'll catch myself staring at the girl at the next table to mine because I like the shape of her nose.

But no one can insist that his 100% perfect girl correspond to some preconceived type. Much as I like noses, I can't recall the shape of hers - or even if she had one. All I can remember for sure is that she was no great beauty. It's weird.

"Yesterday on the street I passed the 100% girl," I tell someone.

"Yeah?" he says. "Good-looking?"

"Not really."

"Your favorite type, then?"

"I don't know. I can't seem to remember anything about her - the shape of her eyes or the size of her breasts."

"Strange."

"Yeah. Strange."

"So anyhow," he says, already bored, "what did you do? Talk to her? Follow her?"

"Nah. Just passed her on the street."

She's walking east to west, and I west to east. It's a really nice April morning.

Wish I could talk to her. Half an hour would be plenty: just ask her about herself, tell her about myself, and - what I'd really like to do - explain to her the complexities of fate that have led to our passing each other on a side street in Harajuku on a beautiful April morning in 1981. This was something sure to be crammed full of warm secrets, like an antique clock build when peace filled the world.

After talking, we'd have lunch somewhere, maybe see a Woody Allen movie, stop by a hotel bar for cocktails. With any kind of luck, we might end up in bed.

Potentiality knocks on the door of my heart.

Now the distance between us has narrowed to fifteen yards.

How can I approach her? What should I say?

"Good morning, miss. Do you think you could spare half an hour for a little conversation?"

Ridiculous. I'd sound like an insurance salesman.

"Pardon me, but would you happen to know if there is an all-night cleaners in the neighborhood?"

No, this is just as ridiculous. I'm not carrying any laundry, for one thing. Who's going to buy a line like that?

Maybe the simple truth would do. "Good morning. You are the 100% perfect girl for me."

No, she wouldn't believe it. Or even if she did, she might not want to talk to me. Sorry, she could say, I might be the 100% perfect girl for you, but you're not the 100% boy for me. It could happen. And if I found myself in that situation, I'd probably go to pieces. I'd never recover from the shock. I'm thirty-two, and that's what growing older is all about.

We pass in front of a flower shop. A small, warm air mass touches my skin. The asphalt is damp, and I catch the scent of roses. I can't bring myself to speak to her. She wears a white sweater, and in her right hand she holds a crisp white envelope lacking only a stamp. So: She's written somebody a letter, maybe spent the whole night writing, to judge from the sleepy look in her eyes. The envelope could contain every secret she's ever had.

I take a few more strides and turn: She's lost in the crowd.

Now, of course, I know exactly what I should have said to her. It would have been a long speech, though, far too long for me to have delivered it properly. The ideas I come up with are never very practical.

Oh, well. It would have started "Once upon a time" and ended "A sad story, don't you think?"

Once upon a time, there lived a boy and a girl. The boy was eighteen and the girl sixteen. He was not unusually handsome, and she was not especially beautiful. They were just an ordinary lonely boy and an ordinary lonely girl, like all the others. But they believed with their whole hearts that somewhere in the world there lived the 100% perfect boy and the 100% perfect girl for them. Yes, they believed in a miracle. And that miracle actually happened.

One day the two came upon each other on the corner of a street.

"This is amazing," he said. "I've been looking for you all my life. You may not believe this, but you're the 100% perfect girl for me."

"And you," she said to him, "are the 100% perfect boy for me, exactly as I'd pictured you in every detail. It's like a dream."

They sat on a park bench, held hands, and told each other their stories hour after hour. They were not lonely anymore. They had found and been found by their 100% perfect other. What a wonderful thing it is to find and be found by your 100% perfect other. It's a miracle, a cosmic miracle.

As they sat and talked, however, a tiny, tiny sliver of doubt took root in their hearts: Was it really all right for one's dreams to come true so easily?

And so, when there came a momentary lull in their conversation, the boy said to the girl, "Let's test ourselves - just once. If we really are each other's 100% perfect lovers, then sometime, somewhere, we will meet again without fail. And when that happens, and we know that we are the 100% perfect ones, we'll marry then and there. What do you think?"

"Yes," she said, "that is exactly what we should do."

And so they parted, she to the east, and he to the west.

The test they had agreed upon, however, was utterly unnecessary. They should never have undertaken it, because they really and truly were each other's 100% perfect lovers, and it was a miracle that they had ever met. But it was impossible for them to know this, young as they were. The cold, indifferent waves of fate proceeded to toss them unmercifully.

One winter, both the boy and the girl came down with the season's terrible inluenza, and after drifting for weeks between life and death they lost all memory of their earlier years. When they awoke, their heads were as empty as the young D. H. Lawrence's piggy bank.

They were two bright, determined young people, however, and through their unremitting efforts they were able to acquire once again the knowledge and feeling that qualified them to return as full-fledged members of society. Heaven be praised, they became truly upstanding citizens who knew how to transfer from one subway line to another, who were fully capable of sending a special-delivery letter at the post office. Indeed, they even experienced love again, sometimes as much as 75% or even 85% love.

Time passed with shocking swiftness, and soon the boy was thirty-two, the girl thirty.

One beautiful April morning, in search of a cup of coffee to start the day, the boy was walking from west to east, while the girl, intending to send a special-delivery letter, was walking from east to west, but along the same narrow street in the Harajuku neighborhood of Tokyo. They passed each other in the very center of the street. The faintest gleam of their lost memories glimmered for the briefest moment in their hearts. Each felt a rumbling in their chest. And they knew:

She is the 100% perfect girl for me.

He is the 100% perfect boy for me.

But the glow of their memories was far too weak, and their thoughts no longer had the clarity of fouteen years earlier. Without a word, they passed each other, disappearing into the crowd. Forever.

A sad story, don't you think?

Yes, that's it, that is what I should have said to her.

Haruki Murakami: On seeing the 100% perfect girl one beautiful April morning

I admit. I'm a dork....for VAMPS.

2008-11-04T21:32:00.004-05:00

disclaimer: this post is going to sound like a 12-year old girl wrote this. excuse my childishness.

I just finished this......

I can't wait for this........

(for some reason this pic is cut off--click to enlarge)

The book seriously got me all hot and bothered. There's nothing like a vampire love interest that gets you all flustered and then some.....I seriously love reading (especially novels like these) because I am always the star of the book in my imagination--haha...Need I say more?

Everyone needs an Edward Cullen in their life....

UPDATE:

How much of a dork am I? The actor that plays Edward Cullen in Twilight had played Cedric Diggory (my fave character) in Harry Potter. Dude....It's fate. For what? I don't know yet.

~ Cin-fully yours

Insignificantly enough we both have significant others.

2008-10-20T23:55:00.002-04:00

This is an entry I wrote earlier, but couldn't get my mobile blog to work.

Here goes....

Currently: volunteering at the Red Cross

If there is something most girls can learn from my best friend and I is this: we're young professionals who are living our lives no holds bar, exploring options and considering each opportunity life throws at us.

Hmm...I'm a little perplexed about different situations that somehow are correlated. I'm pretty much over some things the past couple of weeks. How naive of me to not believe that when things are too good to be true, they probably are. Avoiding the allure of charms is definitely something I need to work on. Seriously, it gets me disappointed in the end anyway.

J* comes into town tomorrow. Excited! He's been out of Atlanta for 4.5 months now and is finally coming back down to visit. I'm trying to plan some things for him. After all, that's what good friends do.

I went to a haunted house yesterday. HOLY cow was I scared :-/ It's been awhile since I went on a fun "outing". There should be more of those. Let's go hiking next, yea?

~ Cin-fully yours

Live for today, we'll dream tomorrow.

2008-10-16T17:18:00.003-04:00

*sigh* Boston was amazing. I can't even begin to describe it. Just one week ago my flight landed on that beautiful city. So much history...so much amazing scenery....so much passion.....

So what now? What am I supposed to do now? Wait? Patience is a virtue I hardly possess. It's the one thing I must learn, I suppose.

I don't want you to be my day late friend. But if it has to come to that then maybe it'll suffice. Until then, let's see how things will unfold with time.

...Time.......AHHHHHHHH............Ok, I'm done.

Photos to come...

Lyrics of the day: (by Anberlin)

When memories fade, we've got each other
When time and confusion collide
singing, "I hold it all when I hold you."
When friends walk other ways, we've got each other
I hold it all when I hold, I hold it all when I hold you

......miles from home but doing the best that we can......

What makes your heart beat faster
Tell me now, what does your body long after
I don't care now where we live
It's not where, or what, or who we were with.
I just need you in my life, so promise me again!

~ Cin-fully yours

I think I'm going to Boston...

2008-10-05T22:24:00.004-04:00

Here I come, Boston. I hope you're ready for me.

I have at least a year before I travel nurse. Might this be one of the first places I try? I shall see... Sorry, Atlanta, I am going to leave you one of these days.

~ Cin-fully yours

Weaknesses & Vices.

2008-09-26T22:04:00.005-04:00

We'll start with a pic:

Melissa and I @ Shout

(continued)............

We all have them.

Here are a few of mine:

reality tv shows
pink, but where no one can see
eating comfort food
shopping till i (never have i) drop
travels
working like a mad woman
being a social butterfly
eating great food
dancing till the sweat beads drip off my face
boxes and boxes of cereal in my pantry
multitasking because i can't focus on just one project
miss bossy, i'm totally B and not S--tho i hate to admit--xoxo
mainstream pop--Jonas brothers, i love y'all
blogging and not editing (until as of late)
"men are the enemy. but i still love the enemy"
being fickle and indecisive, but ultimately knowing what i want
being frugal about certain things so i can be spendthrift other things
not knowing when to stop joking around
driving
forgetting to be honest with myself at times
pirating music
procrastination.
i'm a dreamer, a believer, but only half of a doer.
overly possessive of those i care about
overlooking minor details

Updates:

I wrote my full name today, for the first time, with an R.N. at the end. What an accomplishment!
I'm super busy until Boston.
OH! Boston! Fall, foliage, and tomfoolery--I can't wait :)
I love my new Mac--I'm calling it my spanish lover, Julio Enrique.
Adele - loving her album. I will go to the UK someday. Maybe even live there?

I'm livin' the good life....Care to join?

~ Cin-fully yours

I may need a sitter.

2008-09-20T03:19:00.004-04:00

What happened to being honest? What happened to acting who you are and showing how you feel?

There's always gotta be this whole "game" thing everyone plays. Ugh. SO over it.

I mean..At least I try to be. But I'm a sucker. I need to acquire those things called "balls".

That is all.

~ Cin-fully yours

P.S. Certain events tonight have made me realize that no matter how honest or candid I am, sometimes I'd rather not want to expose myself this way. This blog was supposed to be an outlet..a reprieve....but knowing that those who are close to home actually read it kind of unnerves me. hmm....it was my choice. i need to stick to it or quit. We'll see...

Sorry. I gotta change this post.

2008-09-18T13:04:00.006-04:00

Honestly, I'm becoming a bit of a stiff like the ugly stepmother or evil octopus lady-creature. As a girl from the--wait, what century are we in now-21st?--I have lots of independence in my choices/options however not so much in certain regions. Ok, I'm ready.. Seriously. *Cin is yelling into the deep, dark abyss* Helloooooooo out there!!!!!

Walking up to an unknown destination...

On another note, life is still pretty damn awesome. I can't help but be really positive and upbeat. With friends like the ones I have, nothing can bring me down. They're truly the greatest and best support system.

My roommate, Hayat & My bestie, Mo^dizzle

I'm so excited for Boston!!! Melissa (Mo^dizzle) and I will leave in 3 weeks. Goodness gracious I'm going to need an escape. I always do. Little trips like this one always recharges me and add more joy to this adventurous life I lead.

New interest: Hot yoga. It kicks my butt. Wait, but not as much as hot pilates does. Ooh, and the hot yoga instructor..Yeah, he can kick my butt ANY. time. Seriously tho, I need to get back in shape. I've let myself go. Not in the sense that I'm gaining weight (which I am, but that's besides the point) but moreso the fact that I like a fit and toned body. I need to stop talking and start doing. I'm going for some retail therapy in a little. That's a bit of exercise isn't it?

Okay, two blog updates in a week. Wow.

~ Cin-fully yours

Burn after reading.

2008-09-14T22:00:00.005-04:00

Man, I need to lay off the sauce. For real.

I'm usually pretty good with drinking after being stupid about it for several years before. But last night was awful. It's not so much about being sloppy and drunk than it is moreso the thoughtless and careless decisions made while drinking. Certain events would not have happened had I been completely sober. I am frustrated that I let things get outta hand. But most of all, I'm downright embarrassed. I can't talk about it anymore I'm so disgusted. I definitely had to some damage control. Mostly to care for my bruised ego. Ok, that's that, I'm done.

This one is a short one. I'm just not in the mood.

~ Cin-fully yours

I feel like a dunce.

Idling.

2008-09-08T01:27:00.006-04:00

Hey y'all...So I have been neglectful. Surprise, surprise. I've been working hard and playing even harder. Life is great and I really cannot complain--about ANYthing.

Can you believe it's September, already?! I love the fall. Nothing beats it for me. The foliage, chilly nights, ah-I love it :) Upcoming plans: Boston in October and possibly Chicago in December? I really should try to visit Chicago when it's not so friggin cold. Maybe I'll try for it in the Spring-hmm.... Anyway, I am excited for Halloween, Thanksgiving, Christmas, and New Year's...The Fall/Winter transition always seems like it goes by so fast. Then the dead months of January-March seem to drag on for---eee---verrrrr.

On a more serious note..I hate this whole man v. woman world. A single girl in a big city who know and meet a lot of people has more stereotypes and discrimination to fight against than the average bachelor of the same creds. I mean, seriously, I'm not talking about sleeping around or what not. Nor am I talking about hooking up. But whatever happened to the freedom of being a social butterfly, enjoying the hustle and bustle of life, and even dating around; without the scrutiny of "haters" and, even worse, the evil and inconsideration that flows out of their mouths...? Dignity, respect, and self-worth is nothing to be tampered with and should be upheld in each and every way possible. No one should ever compromise such qualities. Some people should just not be able to speak.

Ok, can I vent about something (well, some thingS) that I am ashamed of? I am so incredibly politics and sports illterate it sickens me. My "I'm a FOB and I can't vote" excuse can only work to a certain age before I am dismissed as an un-american and ignorant 20-something. I feel, as though, I am at the verge of being called such things. Also, I live in Atlanta and I'm pretty sure we're as deep south as you can get. Especially when it comes to whole bedlam that is college football. I don't even know where to even begin to speak about college football except for the fact that I love the snacks people bring/serve when watching football. I look forward to the chicken wings and tex mex dip than I am to watching the actual football game. Does that make me a super girly-girl? I mean, I don't think so. I can get down and dirty and roll around in mud and change a flat. Anywho, it's time for me to ROCK THE VOTE! and scream out GO DAWGS!

I have no pictures. DOH! I'm at work and do not have the luxury. :-/

Oh wait! Penn Badgley is in a new movie about rugby..Yay

- Cin-fully yours

A little bit longer...and I'll be fine.

2008-08-21T11:29:00.010-04:00

I've been contemplating lately...My eyes are starting to open to something.

I'm a big fan of listening to my heart, basing things on intuition, knowing that everything happens for a reason, and that there is a personal calling for everyone...

Pictures:

I <3 onblur="try {parent.deselectBloggerImageGracefully();} catch(e) {}" href="http://4.bp.blogspot.com/_6MmEezsoVQ4/SK2OJ1hZ-CI/AAAAAAAAAS4/KTgmL7M6crQ/s1600-h/IMG00152.jpg">

Separated by (almost) 11 years. Joined by 3 brothers.

Little Lu

Mo & I went to the American Idols concert this past Monday. I won these tix (like I do most things) off Q100.

~ Cin-fully yours

One word: yay!

2008-08-10T10:42:00.005-04:00

Need I say more?

~ Cin-fully yours

The world is full of rainbows and butterflies leaving trails of sparkles.

2008-08-06T19:06:00.006-04:00

So 'Hell Day' is done and over it. I don't want to think about it anymore or else I will puke. Worse comes to worst, I can do it all over again.

disclaimer: If reading this next paragraph will make you want to gag yourself with a spoon, I'm sorry.

I know I always talk about the pursuits of my life as a bachelorette, but (really) nothing else seems to be worth talking about. Besides, this is my outlet--let me be. I'd rather vent here than talk someone's ear(s) off. I'm finding it very hard to meet eligible bachelors in Atlanta. And if I find them in Atlanta, they often to move elsewhere or originate elsewhere. I'm not saying, by any means, that there aren't great catches in A-town. However, there aren't any that completely interests or captivates me. So I am boy crazy, I admit it--there! But I am not, AT ALL, a girl who craves the attention and affections of the opposite sex like a coke addict on, well, coke. I'm very capable on my own. My BFF and I were talking about this the other day. She's hilarious, by the way. Miss Goody-2-Shoes decides that she wants to make out with the next guy she sees when we go out. I told her that's digusting..On another thought, maybe after a good bit to drink the idea might seem a little fonder. Anywho, I'm not gonna worry too much about it. I'm doing perfectly fine on my own and life is great :) !! Well...Until I find out the results of hell day and only if it's not to my liking.

Hmm...A few updates, shall we?

Just saw the Sisterhood of the Traveling Pants 2. It wasn't as good as the first, but I'm a sucker for girly movies..Actually, I don't know if I'm very discretionable about my movies at all. They all entertain at least one (if not several) of my emotions.

I move into my own place--well, with a good friend of mine--within a week. I'm super stoked. My own place (kinda), FINALLY!

Mo and I booked our Boston flight. Yay! We will be there in 2 months!! Any attraction ideas? We'd love input...

Lemme tell ya about how some people are way too immature. I had a falling out with someone. First, I have this downfall--I befriend people and get close way too quick. It's just cause I have so much faith in people and I love meeting new people and making friends. I dunno..Anyway, I met this particular person just recently and befriended him real quick. I thought, yeah, he's really cool, like my other guy friends, and we talk like we've known each other for awhile. I mean, you meet someone who shares your interests/etc and of course you'd want to be friends with them right? Well, long story short...We had joked around about something and he basically said, "I don't think we should talk anymore." Which is retarded bc we weren't joking about anything personally and irreversibly damaging to anyone. What's worse is that I see him a lot (by obligation). I don't even know why I'm talking about this anyway because I am not at will to disclose full details. See, even in the anonymous triple Ws community I'm respectful. Anyways, disregard this whole paragraph. It was pointless. I'm just ranting.

Picture, picture time?

I l-o-v-e karaokeing.

Happy Birthday, Lysa :)

Lucy & James - I babysit them.

:)

~ Cin-fully yours

Hell day.

2008-07-31T00:55:00.003-04:00

I've been neglectful.

But for a good cause!

Hell day's coming up. I need all the strength, confidence, and knowledge I can get :-/

Ew. NCLEX. I hate you.

Ooooh, but I always have time for pictures :)

New haircolor

I love them

We played this superstitious thing that determines what age we'll end up hitched. Mo's was 33, mine 27. Hmm.....

She's my favorite. Ain't no one better :)

~ Cin-fully yours

Bittersweet.

2008-07-14T13:39:00.008-04:00

Ok, so I can't use the phrase "I just got dumped that's why I'm not looking" anymore because, frankly, that's not true. And it's not so much looking than it is...um...being captivated. It's been almost 3 months that I've been single and that's more than half the time I was with my most recent...um...person. So yeah, let's throw all excuses out the door shall we? I really am trying to evade any and all temptations to the opposite sex but again, quite frankly, I just can't. So what if I enjoy a person's company and want to be around them more? So what if I want something now and not later? And more importantly, so what if I fixate on how retarded it is for a person to take a funny spin on common vocabulary but still love how it is so refreshingly comical at the same time? Romantic comedies, a bag of chips, and sweet tea are things that aren't going to get me anywhere in life but in the fat hole. What? You wouldn't know what I was talking about, would you? Actually, I don't even know what I'm talking about. My fickle mind is not for the faint-hearted.

Oh dear. I'm going out of my mind.

Can I just say I am having the time of my life right now? I know I always say it. I bet it's sickening. But is it really bad to appreciate the great things that I am blessed to have? Geez!

Oooh, serious matter coming up. NCLEX > me. I am scared. I haven't been this scared since the time when my mom was going to find out about the detention I got in 4th grade for spitting up water on a boy because he liked me. Eeks!

On a lighter note, New York + amazing friends = incredible. Did I expect any less? Of course not.

On our way...

Spectacular view during the taxi ride.

The 4th in NYC.

The group (not all pictured): Jay, Kat, Stella, Daryl, Don, Pat, May, Peter, Jared, Chris, & Me

Peter always--ALWAYS--gives random lapdances.

Central Park is gorgeous.

I Put On For My City

2008-07-01T20:24:00.006-04:00

Big Apple: Here I come....

I hope you're ready for me.

Be back late next Monday.

~ Cin-fully yours

* UPDATE*

7/2/08
10:33am

My friends are so important to me. They are always there (and they were always there) when I am happy and extremely joyful at life, but also when I am sad and downright blue. I just want *you* to know that I am always here for you at this awful time of your life. I love you so much that words can't even describe. I wish you all the best things in life. I am here for you rain or shine :) But that, of course, can be left unsaid.

It's so funny how things work out sometimes. I know I always say that. But really though, life is hard. I guess God is proving our worth. If life wasn't difficult then Heaven would be something we wouldn't look forward to. The trials and tribulations given to us are merely tests of our nature. We can only endeavor to be truthful, kind, and considerate people. On top of that, we can only assume others will generate the same type of genuine characteristics back.

Honesty. Honestly.

2008-06-25T16:36:00.004-04:00

Currently: Packing for my big NYC trip with mi amigos..I don't leave until Wednesday. THAT'S how excited I am. Time has flown. It doesn't feel like JUST this past month I graduated, went on a cruise, had another birthday, and started my new job. It makes me feel like I'm kind of a big deal. ;p

Listening to: Miley Cyrus - 7 Things
This song is pretty effin awesome. I have to admit..I'm not a Miley fan. But this song is the shizz.

I would like to see the following movies...join me?:
1. Wanted
2. Wall-E
3. Batman

I would like to eat:
Some banh mi...It's been awhile.

I am -seriously- crushing on:
Penn Badgley. I love me some Dan Humphrey in Gossip Girl. xoxo.

I am itching for:
.....another tattoo. I know where..Just don't know what. But I feel it coming. Inspiration is waiting to burst. That's possibly one of my vices. My tattoos are the physical, visual embodiment of certain milestones, certain life discoveries....

Take this one for example:

1. Honesty. A moment of change. A feeling in my soul.

Honesty is the solid basis for everything--relationships, friendships, family, etc. And it changes everything--either slightly or extremely..Change for the good or for the bad...and there's always mixed emotions, mixed feelings, about the way being honest affects people. Everyone has to be honest not only to the people in their lives, but (most of all) to themselves--this is especially true with all relationships. If you're not honest to yourself then you won't be able to make sound decisions and, in turn, be able to be honest with other people.

2. A fire. Love. Burning red now blue.

People always metaphorically associate love with a burning flame. If you look at a burning flame you can see the different colors of the it signifying the different settings of heat--outer part (a cooler setting) is always a reddish hue and the closer it is to the center, the bluer (and hotter) it gets. Love & relationships are exactly that. It's always so hot with passion and enthusiasm at first, then either the flame dies down before you get to the blue part or something just completely puts it out. As fun as it can be, I think it's trivial to be in transitory relationships with lots of red hot passion and solely that. I am going after a love that burns not only blue, but also the other colors of the flame.

~ Cin-fully yours

Atonement.

2008-06-23T00:52:00.000-04:00

Some people spend their whole lives in penance for their sins. How does it all end? Atonement was a great movie by the way. Gets ya thinkin'....

The following is inspired by her.

If I knew at 17 what I knew now...This is what I would say.

1. Listen to your parents, because they really have experienced lots of things.
2. Take that driver's ed course.
3. That guy you had a crush on since the beginning of high school, yeah, him--stop it.
4. Get more involved.
5. That awesome night you thought you would have trying drinking for the first time--wait till you're 21.
6. Get more active. Don't be a couch potato.
7. Teach by example--your sis is watching.
8. Don't sweat the small stuff.
9. Think about the bigger picture. Matter of fact, think BIG.
10. Insecurity is unattractive--just be yourself.

Hell, I could use listening to my own advice now.

Life update:

* New York City in 9 days!!!

* Started my career. Wow. I'm an adult. But I still feel like I'm 12?!?!

* I went to an R.E.M. concert cause someone didn't want to be the 5th wheel. Hell, I'd be 6th wheel all the time if that means going to awesome concerts.

* New job, new friends, new outlook, new interests...To be continued.

Pics of the day <3>

Spent lots of time with my 10101043 buddy. She's the best. I love her.

Obligatory bathroom photo op.

Peter had a crawfish party. Yumm :)

Then had a pillow fight with the girls.

Love them.

~ Cin-fully yours

I.N.D.E.P.E.N.D.E.N.T.

2008-06-12T17:44:00.007-04:00

To be honest, I don't write when I'm not inspired but I felt it was due time for me to blog. So let's see where this one takes me shall we?

I've been filled with this whole I live my life for me, my friends and my family. I have this surge of independence and can-do solo attitude to anything. Then I watch Grey's Anatomy (awesome most recent episode--OH MY GOD, was it good!!) and my sappy, melodramatic ways got the best of me again. Is it not much to ask for the genuine liking of a significant other without the facade of insecurities? I mean seriously. Seriously? I seriously have to stop letting what I view affect my emotions. Oh well, I'm such a girl. What can ya do?

And I'm seriously NOT the "playing the field" girl. I've tried and failed many times with either both or either parties getting hurt or acquiring hard feelings afterwards, somehow. No matter how much I tell myself "I don't want anything coming out of this", or "Oh, this is just flirting", or "Having a little fun doesn't hurt, does it?", or etc, etc, etc...Well, no matter how much I tell myself that, I still can't help but feel bummed even when I tell myself and make it clear that I have zero expectations. I simply need to really learn how to follow through with this no expectations nonsense because, clearly, I don't know how to do it. Some part of me always keeps a tiny semblance of hope. So, I've got to do something. I'm gonna try something new. Here is my public notice: I will not pursue anyone for casual flirting, potential dating, and/or anything else that encompasses the steps of courtship with that of the opposite sex. I will also (purposefully, but also kindly) regret any passes directed towards/at me.

Don't judge me. I'm not the "woe is me I've never been single" type of girl. I need this so please accept it.

Random pics of the day:

I went to my new workplace, did a whole bunch of paperwork, and got my badge!!!

This is my summer hobby :)

Miss Kimmy and I --She's the cutest ;p

I didn't know I can be emo at a club :-/

Funny how things work out.

2008-06-01T21:39:00.012-04:00

First of all, I'm so sorry for not having posted in over a week. To tell you the truth, I've been having the time of my life. May has definitely become a month filled with a whirlwind of emotions, never ending activities, and so much, much, much more!!!

I think it's funny how things work out sometime. Friends become lovers. Ex-lovers become friends. Enemies become friends. And even some friends become (not so much enemies) but distant acquaintances. In this past month of May, I have learned that things can change and change is good--even if it doesn't feel so good at the time. Everything serves its purpose and I have become a firm believer of "everything happens for a reason". Never live in a stagnant world, don't get too comfortable, keep on your toes, and cherish your loved ones. I can't even begin to tell you all the things I've come to realize lately. But I do know this...I will not settle because I deserve so much more than what temporary happiness can ever bring me.

I have also learned that people don't take advice. People like to make their own mistakes. Then people say, "Oh man, you were right all along!!". But you know what? I'm not going to be a hypocrite as I don't always take advice myself. My point is, advices and cliches make sense now more than ever. I mean, "things happen for a reason" and "one day they'll see what they've lost"? I used to think to myself, "What the hell does that crap mean?!?!?!" But now, it all makes perfect sense. Life is so amusing. So funny.

Pics over the past couple of weeks:

My cruise was super friggin fabulous!!!

So much sun!

Sending off a friend to start his life!!

Another year, another birthday.

We even did the robot to domo arigato, Mr. Roboto.

A friend from middle school got married. I was glad to find out one of my best guy friends was invited too!! Oh man, getting old we are.

Check out the view!!

We went dancing for our birthdays :) I LOVE dancing!!

Ended the weekend with hanging out at Little 5 Points.

Ok, now it's time to start working a lot to save up for NYC (4th of July weekend--yay!!) and studying a lot too (for my nurse licensure exam)!!! I'm broke as a joke and procrastination is killing me!!!

~ Cin-fully yours

You can't help someone who can't help themselves.

2008-05-19T09:12:00.000-04:00

Let me put a disclaimer on here: I really wasn't going to blog before my
big trip, but I'm doing this per someone's request. Apparently, that
someone needs motivational words from yours truly to function during the
start, middle, and end of the work week. So yes, this is dedicated to
you ;p

Currently, I am riding shotgun to Melissa's car. Were driving down to
Mobile, Alabama as that's where our port of call. It kinda sucks thatwe
have to drive a long way to get there. BUT, in about 5 hours
(approximately) we will be checked in on our cruise boat. AND, upon
arrival, we will get the most annoyingly adorned fruity daquiris and lay
by the pool with oil all over our bodies. It will be amazing!

I've come to a lot of realizations lately and this next one is may-jah.
I am an extremely caring and helpful person--which is probably why I am
a nurse. Anywho, sometimes people DON'T want to be cared for and
sometimes people DON'T want to be helped. And ALL the time, I'm not
okay with that. If there's something that needs fixing, I'd like to be
Miss Fixer-Upper. I don't want to come across as pushy or anything, but
I really do feel that I CAN be sometimes when something needs to be
fixed. So I've learned to throw my hands up in the air and say, "I'm
over it".

Next topic: cuddling.
Melissa and I are having a talk about this right now as this is the
topic on Q100. What does cuddling mean? I think it's weird and strange
because if you and the cuddl-ee are not official in status then can you
imagine what's going through your mind? "What does this mean? What do
you want? So are we, like, dating? Oh my God, so-and-so touched me! What
do I do!?!?!" So I tend to avoid all things cuddling related (I.e.
hugs, holding hands, close proximities). Haha, I'm so kindergarten in
that you probably can figure out if I like someone if I am around them a
lot but seem standoff-ish.

Okay, done blogging. Does that suffice in starting your week off
right?

~ Cin-fully yours

Living after loss. Laughter after tears. Love after heartbreak. But most of all: Success after hard work.

2008-05-12T11:05:00.025-04:00

Listening to: Rihanna & Natasha Bedingfield.

So my cruise leaves this upcoming Monday. Let me tell you how. bad. I. need. this. Atlanta feels like a bubble. No matter how much I think I won't know anyone in this overpopulated city, I feel as though I always run into people I know. Or I meet people who know people I know. The latter is not a bad thing. But wouldn't it be nice to meet someone and completely feel refreshed at the fact that none of you know anyone in common? I'm not saying I'm about to lie about aspects of my life or even attempt to hide skeletons in my closet. And I'm also not saying that I have anything to lie about or anything to hide. What you see is what you get, but you also must understand my eccentricities. What I'm saying is this: I would like to meet someone--anyone, girl, boy, goy, whatever--in a totally platonic fashion and be able to converse with them about anything in the world. I know I can have that with anyone, but the fact that two strangers can be openly communicative and not have to worry about any prejudgments or be wary of social circles really interests me. My birthday is right around the corner and I still feel like I'm in high school sometimes. I sometimes believe it's due to the whole Asian population that I currently surround myself in. Again, I'm not trying to be some crazy, angry, Asian chick. But seriously though, I feel as though I live like the characters on Gossip Girl. Constantly being peered into as if my whole world is a looking glass--the slanted eyes version.

What makes me interesting? Tell me. Everyone is interesting in their own way. What sets me different from everyone else?

Hollywood is not America. And Atlanta should definitely NOT be a part of it too.

Things I've come to realize:

Grieving is a normal process of any loss. It's only natural.
Laughter is a coping mechanism. Being hysterical can sometimes be inappropriate.
Real love has never been found. So maybe it should find you?
Truth is often shadowed by lies. At what point can all guards be let down and masks be put away?
We are not only what our successes make us, but also what our failures lead us to be.

On another note, this weekend was busy, busy, busy. To post a whole bunch of pics here is especially time consuming and I, well, I'm just too lazy. So here are some favorites:

Friday:

What do you get when take 2 bored asian kids? Randomness--to say the least.

I'm so emo--not even funny.

You're my boy, Blue!!!

So when will the trains come to take me away?

Saturday:

Graduation..What's the big deal?

I'm done. Let's celebrate.

Why are you always looking at me like that?

It could only be one thing: Journey.

Sunday:

Hello, my name is Cindy. Welcome to my party :)

I do what I want.

You should come next time. You can get lei'd.

We bust out old dance moves.

And even Cranium...

~ Cin-fully yours

Current status: graduating.

2008-05-10T14:31:00.001-04:00

Woohooo!!!!!!!!!!

I'm. ecstatic.

No, you're NOT gonna bring me down. Cause I AM great.

~ Cin-fully yours

I've got nothin.

2008-05-09T23:34:00.002-04:00

So wait until after the weekend :)

Get. Excited.

~ Cin-fully yours

Waiting...

2008-05-08T15:07:00.001-04:00

So I'm currently waiting for pinning rehearsal cause I'm extremely early. My dress and graduation gown are hanging publicly (I don't want them to wrinkle) and people are passing it by with intentful stares. I'm sitting on a couch about 7 ft away. As I watch them look at my garments I think to myself, "Go ahead. Try and steal 'em. I can fight."

So, once again, blogging is putting me out of my misery. And I gotta get used to whole taking self portraits and/or random pictures at public places. I know people will either think I'm crazy or narcissistic, but whatever--they'll get over it. ;p

Pinning: it's a nursing school graduation commencement in which instead of diplomas we get a nursing pin that shows grad year, school, etc. Each student is also able to have anyone put the pin on him/her as his/her name gets called up to the stage. It's pretty special considering the whole college commencement consists of 4567890 people and we only get called by our degrees and not individual names. Also, I'm having my mom pin me so she'll be ecstatic--she doesn't know it yet either.

Wow, I'm graduating. Wait, do you hear me? I'm G-R-A-D-U-A-T-I-N-G. It has JUST, at THIS moment in time and with this NEXT breath I take, dawned on me. Everything was feeling so surreal up until now. I'm done. I'M DONE!!!!!!!!!!!! And I have so much to look forward to! This
reminds me of something that was said to me recently. (I'm gonna fit in an ex-bf comment here, eventho I should not.) If there was one thing he said to me that I will keep near and dear to my heart is this, "Don't ever change for anyone, Cindy. You're gonna be great. You know that?" Well.............Thank you.

pics:
1. I got my hurr did today. SO posh, eh?

2. Waiting with all my crap!!!

4. Hanging up....Showin' off....Same thing ;p

5. Event venue: in 5 hours I will be a nursing school graduate. F**k
yeah!!!!

~ Cin-fully yours

Yin Yang

2008-05-07T23:00:00.007-04:00

I'm on my mobile...No fancy shmancy-ness y'allllllll ;p

I'm so Chinese it's not even funny. In my life there is always ALWAYS a yin to my yang. And they're usually in the same level of good and bad. For example: lets say I win the lottery and win a crapload of money...Well, something of equal yet extremely opposite in the same nature would have had or will have occured. In the same cash money example, let's say a hurricane came through and trashed my car and home. So really, I can't be excited for my lottery winnings becuase I'd have to friggin' pay for all this other shit that just happened and
therefore even-ing out!!!!

*sigh* The yings and yangs of my life really humbles me and continue to make me live humbly each and every day.

Great news:

Hayat and I will be signing a lease within the next week. Love my new roomie--forreals.
My 4.0 this semester (yay) will unfortunately NOT make a dent in my overall GPA. Hmph.
I've had an egotastic day--well, egotastic week really. I've seriously gotten some great affirmations of my worth. Now let's try to apply that on my own, yah?

Today's lesson:

~ do not EVER take for granted what you have: friendships, family, relationships, education, whatever else...
~ money = paper AND trees --> paper BUT money =/= trees .... so make more and you get more
~ love needs to happen at the right place, right time
~ new pick-up line: are you financially stable, emotionally ready, and
family oriented? If so, inquire with me

Pics from my shitty 1.3 megapixel camera phone:

1. Look how busy it is at the DMV. Oh, that little girl in the purple. I was in line behind her and her dad. Her dad was carrying her and she sneezed all over him. So he said she needed to cover her mouth or else people will catch her germs. 5 minutes later I had to sneeze. So I sneezed at the floor in a crouched position (as I always do cause my sneezes are dramatic). So the little girl said with the attempt of whispering (didn't work), "Daddy, she sneezed on the floor and it's gonna get her germs."

2. That's what I'm waiting on....Blogging/texting saved my life in the 2 hours I was there. I love my mobile.

3. BORED! Imagine how crazy I looked snapping random pics at the DMV then continuing to take self photos. Oh, and yes, I AM that blonde and my eyebrows ARE that dark.

4. Hayat and I :) loves you mucho!!

~ Cin-fully yours

F.U.D.

2008-05-05T22:39:00.004-04:00

*disclaimer: I’m totally random at times it’s not even funny. Actually, I’m random at ALL times. So here goes…

Cinco de Mayo fiesta was super awesome today. They seriously sauced up our strawberry pitchers of goodness.

Let’s talk about this double life I lead. I am a nanny/babysitter/mother’s helper. I am honestly a great one at this job. But I feel as though I am leading a double life. Seriously. I feel like a stripper who’s not really a ho in real life. Wait, did I just say that? No, hear me out…I HAVE to act like I care about these kids, I have to actually care for these kids, and (more importantly) I have to take care of these kids with my life. But if these parents saw my actual day-to-day interactions, would they ever trust me with their kids? Let’s list my vices.. Hold up, now, here come the bullet points:

I curse like a sailor—it’s ridiculous. It’s part of my everyday vernacular I can’t stop.
I do like to drink. I admit. Therefore, I’m one step closer. ;p, haha
I like me some cancer sticks every now and then.
I love games—of all shapes, sizes, and ways to play—that I get me some rage. And I’m talking about the lose control, hold me back, and holy shit she’s Naomi Campbell type of competitor. That’s just it; I’m way too competitive for my own good. I don’t care if you’re my age, 5 years old, or my grandma. It’s pretty bad. I need help.
I can’t think of anything else. Or maybe, I just don’t want to make myself look bad. Hah…That’s a shame.

Ah, to be so single and have no plans (in the near future?) to be UN-single again. Yes, again. And why is it that being single brings on bad connotations. As if, it’s the end of the world when it’s not? I need to get over myself. Seriously. Seriously?

This really leaves me in F.U.D. As if I’m going to be single for the rest of life. Like that lady who lives in a boot. With like, 3697842038740 cats. Wait, is that the same Grimm’s tale…or is it nursery rhyme? Oh, plus I don’t even like cats. They make sneeze and cough like it’s nobody’s business.

--end of blog. I need to go home. Thanks, Mo.

*Tip of the day: When you want to host a good Cinco de Mayo party, make sure it’s not at a popular restaurant, that the pitchers of margarita are “extra special”, and wear a sombrero.

**Word of the day: Fear, Uncertainty and Doubt (F.U.D). Also known as scare tactics, either accomplished by threat or making the opponent doubt his standpoint. Not only used in lawsuits, but also in politics and military propaganda.

***Pic of the day:

~ Cin-fully yours

Ploomy Girl & Shituation

2008-05-03T10:27:00.009-04:00

I'm IMing with a friend and he asks, "What IS a Ploomy girl?"

Tell you the truth --> I have no idea.
But I do want to be one.

—Oh wait— Explanation from website, " real women who want to tell you something."

I've got something to say, Buddy. Actually, I’ve got LOADS to say. Maybe you can give ME some insight.

Before you go about thinkin I’m some crazy angry asian chick…Let’s give you the foundation of everything all that’s happened. (not in order)

I’ve just gotten dumped and it was the 4^th serious relationship I’ve been in the past 4.5 years. This is a definite shituation.
I’m graduating in exactly a week and have already secured a job in my field.
Turning 23 at the end of the month will be somewhat pivotal.
I caved. I’m going to Mexico in a couple of weeks. Oh, unsanitized water and dirty foods. I will trade you in for a week-long excursion of sun, surf, and sand.

Also, I love bullet points. So here goes:

I don’t understand. I have self-confidence, yet am not conceited. I’m decent looking and not homely. I’m outgoing, fun, funny, ambitious, loving, caring, etc, etc, etc…I’m a “total catch” (thanks, friends). I do have my downfalls tho à i.e. certain PMS syndrome (damn, birth control—they really cause that!!), I have no censorship—I do/say what’s on my mind (isn’t that a good thing?), I’m bold and some people can’t handle that, I get ‘in the zone’ when planning/organizing events (but I love doing it), yet again etc, etc, etc. This is pointless. AHHH!! To rummage through what I think I’VE done wrong, what I could have prevented, and what I could have made happen instead. I just don’t understand.
My life feels like this: Picture a staircase that has no ending—it just keeps going further up. I keep climbing and climbing and hitting milestones and achieving goals. It feels good to see the fruits of my labor. It feels even better to have great support and companionship from those I care about by my side. Everything is finally starting. One goal accomplished and lots more to go!
Single on my birthday? That has not happened for awhile. Oh gosh, I sound like one of those high school girls who MUST have a BF on their BDAY. (side note: I love abbreviations) Anywho, 23 will be pivotal. I. just. know it.
Meh-hee-co. Let me introduce you to my BFF (haha, idk Jill?) Melissa..or Mo..or Moe..or Mo-dizzle, FO’shizzle…she’s the LOVE of my life. Who would have thought God would make someone totally like me yet a lot different? It’s a blessing I tell you. That is, to have someone you can truly call your bestie and who completely loves you through highs and lows. Anywho, we love LOVE Mexican food and will endeavor on a Carnival cruise to seek out real enchiladas, home-grown salsa, and made in front of you tortillas. Plus, I haven’t seen sand in ages I forget what it looks like.

Okay, did I write too much? Hmm..I haven’t done this blog thing in ages. Excuse me, whilst I find my niche.

~ Weekend Plans ~

Saturday: Babysit; Birthday party at ze club

Sunday: Going away breakfast; Bridal shower luncheon

**Tip of the day: NEVER shop online before searching for coupon codes. Extra time saves you extra money. Seriously.

***Word of the day: Shituation--1. n. a bad situation; 2. a dramatic, usually negative happening resulting in utter shit in one's life.

****Picture of the day:

~ Cin-fully yours

The Start of the Beginning

2008-05-02T21:02:00.005-04:00

The stats ....

Name: Cindy...but lately, it's been Cin.

Age: 23 in 27 days.

Status: single. complicated. hopelessly futile.

School: gradumatation in 8 days.

Work: Registered Nurse at a well-renowned hospital. Nanny to various children.

Personality: multi-faceted. you will never fully know me.

Social: butterfly.

Friends: the fuckin' best.

The blog ...

Purpose: not yet determined.

Goal: peace of mind from censorship.

Content: different ramblings.

~ Cin-fully yours